In China, a new trend in relationships is becoming increasingly popular – the rejection of the usual romantic titles and affectionate nicknames. Will this anti-romanticism take root here?
What makes the inhabitants of the Celestial Empire – lovers and spouses – abandon affectionate epithets when addressing each other? It turns out they’re doing it for the sake of “equal partnership.” Social networks have clearly responded to these changes, and their users are actively discussing, trying to get to the bottom of this phenomenon: maybe this is just a sure sign of the cooling of the relationship between two people? Or the account? However, such anti-romanticism also has supporters who claim that this is nothing less than a new philosophy of relationships. According to them, a strong union between a man and a woman is not based on apparent tenderness, but on the principles of equality, respect and partnership. In addition, according to opponents of excessive emotionality, it can cause exaggerated expectations from the lover, while a calm and even model of communication does not imply any exaggerated expectations.
“On the one hand, it may seem that there is a rational grain in such a philosophy,” says family psychologist Tatiana Koshkina. — Many problems in relationships arise precisely because of mismatched expectations. People are all very different, and this model of relationships may actually work for some. However, it should be understood: a person who uses cute nicknames for his loved one, first of all, expresses his feelings towards him.
The other thing is how appropriate it is to make something about just two people available to the general public. There is a difference between saying “musik-pusik-lapusik”, which is made when addressing a husband or wife within the four walls of their apartment, and when it is made in public, it is a completely different matter.
-Words have very great power. “The way we call our partner greatly affects our relationship with him,” explains Tatiana Koshkina. – If you call your husband for a long time and persistently, there is a possibility that he will unconsciously become like that for you.
There is another philosophy that we can call “anti-friendship.” According to her, close friends should also be called acquaintances, so as not to add unnecessary expectations to the relationship.
“This may also be due to an unconscious fear of close relationships,” Tatiana explains. — A person fears or feels that his attitude toward another is unreciprocated, and thus lexically distances himself from him. In this case, emphatically neutral nicknames can only exacerbate already complicated feelings. If a person who is afraid of rejection does not succeed with this fear, he will never solve the problem.
According to the psychologist, it can be said with a high degree of probability that such a trend is unlikely to reach Russia: we like to use diminutives very much. Look how many masek, sun, and rabbits can be found among young men of both sexes. To be honest, it is difficult to imagine that a lover will call a Russian woman an “acquaintance” and she will react to this calmly and in a friendly manner.
By the way
Among Russian writers, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov is considered the master of affectionate nicknames for the woman he loves. In his letters, he called his wife, the actress Olga Knipper Chekhova, “angel,” “nice,” “actress,” “hemp,” “sweetheart,” “dobby,” “light,” “German,” “cockroach,” “old lady,” “mosquito,” “turkey.”…